So it’s 7.
Seven years since the day I felt a tiny sting in my bosom while catching the bus and I thought « that’s it ». As I sat down because I had a long journey ahead, I looked out of the window and took a mental tour of all the things I had to take care of; the maternity carry-on, your brother’s activities and little gift, dinners in the fridge. Before telling anyone that it was it, I slowly carried my huge belly to some grocery-shopping and through all those tiny to-be-finished tasks. And all the while I whispered to you « hold on love, just a little bit longer, I’m almost ready » and to myself « hold on to this moment, before your world changes forever again, don’t miss a bit of it ». You listened to me, you know. It was not until everything was done that the pain grew stronger and the waters broke and we rushed in the car, my breathing more ad more ragged, the pain reaching its highest peak, the doubt, the fear, breath in, breathe out, you can do it, you’ve done it before, just lean in, the friendly voices cheering, we’re almost there, then my world stood still, unique incomparable wonder, meeting your eyes wide open as you were lying on my womb.
7 days since that day, my joy fairy, my little bird. It feels like yesterday yet forever. For me, you’re always that tiny newborn, almost not crying and spending the night teaching my breasts how you want to be fed. But I know you’re growing up and, not so far away, the day will come when I’ll no longer be the center of your universe. I’m overjoyed to see you grow and become your own person, with your tastes and personality. But I would lie if I said that in this mama’s heart, who cradeled you, as your brother, each day ever since you were born, there is not also a pinch of apprenesion thinking about this. Thank god, there is a remedy. A panacea for this melancholia: seeing you happy and laughing.
Happy birthday sweet fairy,
may all your future days be filled with such joy and wonder.